How To Handle Your First Referral (So You Get More)
You finally got your first referral.
A treatment center trusts you enough to send someone your way.
What you do next determines whether you get more referrals or whether this is your last one.
Here's how to handle it...
Why The First Referral Matters So Much
The first referral is a test.
The treatment center is thinking:
"Can this operator actually deliver?"
"Will they communicate like they said?"
"Will they handle challenges professionally?"
"Was I right to trust them?"
If you pass the test, they send you more referrals and introduce you to others.
If you fail, they never refer again.
What Happens Before The Referral Arrives
Confirm the Details Immediately
When the referral source contacts you:
"We have a client who needs sober living. Can you take them?"
Your response:
"We'd love to help. Let me confirm a few things:
What's the discharge date?
What level of care will they be transitioning from?
Any special considerations we should know about (MAT, mental health, transportation needs)?
Who's the primary therapist or case manager I'll be coordinating with?
What's the best way to reach you if I have questions?"
This shows you're thorough, not just desperate to fill a bed.
Set Expectations With the Referral Source
Before the referral moves in:
"Just so we're aligned—here's what you can expect from us:
I'll send you a weekly update every Monday.
If there's any concern, I'll call you immediately (not wait three days).
If any issues come up, we'll work with you on next steps—we're not going to just kick them out without talking to you first.
Does that work for you?"
This sets the tone: you're a partner, not a vendor.
Communicate Clearly With The Referral
Before they move in, have a phone call or in-person meeting:
"Here's what you can expect from us:
Our house rules (review them)
Our expectations (meetings, accountability, communication)
How we work with your treatment team
What support we provide
And here's what we expect from you:
Honesty
Accountability
Participation
Respect for house rules
Any questions?"
This prevents misunderstandings later.
What Happens In The First Week
Send An Arrival Update
Within 24 hours of the referral moving in:
"Hi [Referral Source],
Just wanted to let you know [Referral] arrived safely yesterday. They got settled in, met the other residents, and we reviewed house rules and expectations. Everything went smoothly. I'll send you a full update on Monday, but wanted to confirm they're here and doing well.
Let me know if you have any questions."
This takes 2 minutes and shows you're on top of it.
Check In With The Referral Daily
For the first week, check in with the referral daily:
How are they adjusting?
Any concerns or questions?
Are they going to meetings?
How are they getting along with the other residents?
You're not micromanaging. You're being attentive.
Catch issues early before they become problems.
Send Your First Weekly Update
On Monday (or whatever day you committed to):
"Hi [Referral Source],
Here's the weekly update on [Referral]:
Attendance: 6 AA meetings this week, participating well
Engagement: Helping with house chores, getting along with residents
Concerns: None at this time, settling in well
Next Steps: Continue with current schedule, working on finding employment
Let me know if you need anything else."
This is simple, clear, and shows you're following through.
What Happens When There's A Challenge
Communicate Immediately
If something goes wrong (relapse, behavioral issue, conflict with another resident):
Call the referral source immediately. Don't wait.
"Hi [Name], I wanted to let you know about a situation with [Referral]. Here's what happened: [explain]. Here's what we did: [your response]. Here's what I'm thinking for next steps: [your plan]. What do you think?"
You're collaborating, not just reporting.
Don't Make Unilateral Decisions
If you're considering discharge or a change in approach:
"Before I make any decisions, I wanted to talk to you. Here's the situation. What do you think makes sense here?"
Treatment centers hate when operators discharge clients without discussing it first.
Collaborate. Even if you ultimately have to discharge, the fact that you consulted them matters.
Follow Your Crisis Protocol
Use the crisis management system you documented.
Don't panic. Don't make emotional decisions.
Follow the process. Communicate. Collaborate.
This shows you're professional under pressure.
What Happens In The First Month
Continue Weekly Updates
Even if nothing is happening, send the update.
"No news is good news, but wanted to check in: [Referral] is doing well, attending meetings regularly, no concerns."
Consistency builds trust.
Ask For Feedback
After the first month:
"How's our communication working for you? Is there anything you'd like us to do differently? Any feedback on how we're supporting [Referral]?"
This shows you care about improving.
What Happens At 90 Days
Send A Progress Summary
"Hi [Referral Source],
[Referral] has been with us for 90 days now. Thought I'd send a quick summary:
Sobriety: Clean and sober, no issues
Engagement: Attending meetings consistently, working with sponsor
Progress: Found employment, rebuilding family relationships
Next Steps: Continuing current plan, looking solid
Thanks for trusting us with this referral. Let me know if you need anything."
This reinforces that you delivered.
Ask For Another Referral (If It's Going Well)
If the referral is doing well and you've been consistent with communication:
"We're grateful for the opportunity to work with [Referral]. If you have other clients who might be a good fit for structured sober living, we'd love to help. But no pressure—just wanted to let you know we have capacity."
Low pressure. Professional. Timing is right because you've proven yourself.
What NOT To Do With Your First Referral
❌ Don't ghost after they move in
"I'll communicate regularly" → Then you never send updates. This kills trust.
❌ Don't discharge without discussing first
"We had to kick them out for [reason]" → Without calling the referral source first. They'll never refer again.
❌ Don't make excuses
"Sorry we didn't update you, we've been busy" → Busy isn't an excuse for breaking your commitment.
❌ Don't overpromise
"We can handle this, no problem" → Then you can't. Better to be honest upfront.
❌ Don't ask for more referrals before you've delivered
Week 1: "Do you have any other clients for us?" → Way too soon. Prove yourself first.
The Bottom Line
Your first referral is a test.
Pass the test by:
Communicating consistently
Handling challenges professionally
Collaborating instead of isolating
Following through on every commitment
Do this, and the first referral becomes five referrals... and more... and more.
Fail this, and the first referral is your last.
Treat it like the opportunity it is.
-Kevin
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